The Three StoogesPlus 2!
by Chirugai
Summary: The Five Stooges go on an adventure! HEHE. Rated PG13 for some minor profanity. A must for marauder-comedy-lovers! LOL. Includes some OC's.


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Title: The Three Stooges…plus 2!

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Disclaimer #1: Although the title suggests it, this has nothing to do with the Three Stooges.

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Disclaimer #2: Meep.

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Disclaimer #1: Oh look! You've got something on your nose!

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Disclaimer #2: Where?

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Disclaimer #1: *flicks Disclaimer #2 on the nose*

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Disclaimer #2: You are so immature.

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Disclaimer #1: Oho! Look who's talking!

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Disclaimer #2: Well I'm not the one who disclaimed that stupid Tekken Talk Show Lia wrote!

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Disclaimer #1: Well I'm not the one who disclaimed that LOTR story "Weirdo" that got about 500 flames!

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Disclaimer #2: *pouts*

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Disclaimer #1: *pouts*

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Summary: The Five Stooges go on an adventure! HEHE.

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Chapter One – Don't mess with McGonagall!

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..::Emily Snicket is sitting on the lawn underneath the oak tree near the Hogwarts Lake watching the giant squid eat the merpeople!::..

Emily: Oh no I haven't done McGonagall's essay on the Conjuring Spell! Oh no, stress, stress, stress…!

..::Emily's twin sister Tess comes up to her::..

Tess: Wut up little sis?

Emily: I haven't done McGonagall's essay on the Conjuring Spell!

Tess: Here you can copy mine. ::hands her a 1½-foot long sheet of parchment::

Emily: Wow thanks sis you're the be – HANG ON! FOUR words written very large??!!

Tess: Well, McGonagall DID say one-and-a-half feet… ::winks::

Emily: ::grins evilly then frowns:: No thanks, I don't want to break my clean record by landing myself in detention _just _because I didn't hand in my homework.

Tess: Don't worry Em, I've been in detention heaps of times, it's not that bad…unless you had that Washwater cow last year… ::shudders:: Boy, am I glad _she _got sacked…

::a group of sixth – year boys are walking past when Tess stops them::

Tess: Oi! Sirius!

Sirius: ::stops walking and faces Tess:: _Yes?!_

Tess: Your sister told me that _you _told _her _that _I_ was a _cow._

Sirius: Really now? And what proof do _you_ have? I have witnesses. Did I say anything of the sort? ::turns to face the other boys, who all shake their heads apart from one::

James: :: in a sarcastic voice:: Now really, Padfoot, that's _no way _to talk to a lady.

Sirius: ::chuckles:: You call THAT thing a lady??!! ::points to Tess::

Tess: Watch it, buddy. ::clenches fists behind her back::

James: Oooh, I'm terrified.

Emily: ::stands up and tries to gently push her sister back, who resists:: Tess, don't – 

Peter: ::in a squeaky voice:: Too late!

..::Tess jumps at Sirius and punches him in the face, making his nose bleed.::..

Sirius: Jesus f –::utters a stream of profanity::

Tess: ::smiling triumphantly:: You want some more?

James: Want some more _detention,_ you mean? ::points over his shoulder at McGonagall::

Tess: What the – Oh, hi Professor.

McGonagall: Hello Tess. I see you and your sister are getting along well with a few, um…_Gryffindors_. Yes, it's nice to see some, er…_inter-house unity._

Tess: Er – 

Sirius: Professor! Tess – 

McGonagall: Be quiet, Mr. Black! Your record's filthier than hers! What were you saying, Tess?

Tess: Well, as you know, I'm in Gryffindor. My sister's the one in Hufflepuff.

McGonagall: Ah, yes, of course.

James: Professor! Tess hit Sirius!

McGonagall: Don't speak nonsense! She wouldn't have done such a thing in front of a prefect!

Remus: Er.

Peter: P – p – professor! Tess _did _h – hit Sirius.

Emily: She was provoked, Professor.

Tess: Yes, Professor. Potter and Black – 

McGonagall: - are to spend another night in detention.

James and Sirius: What the – 

McGonagall: Watch your tongue, boys. It could mean _another _night. 5 O'clock tonight in my office. Oh, wait…I forgot, of course… ::grins evilly:: you're already spending a week's detention with me. Saturday 5 o'clock sharp, boys. There will be _no _excuses. ::walks off::

..::Tess snickers and pokes out her tongue, then walks off::..

Remus: ::looks up from his book:: Did I miss something?

Sirius: _YES!_

James: Tess hit us, but _we _were the ones who ended up in detention, all because you were too busy reading that STUPID book! 

..::James grabs Remus' book::..

James: I'll throw it in the lake!

Sirius: He'll throw it in the lake.

Peter: H-he'll th-throw it i – in the lake!

Remus: Boys, please – 

SPLASH!

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SATURDAY

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..::Sirius wakes up and pokes James::..

James: Piss off – oh, good morning, Padfoot. ::yawns:: What a lovely day.

Sirius: Gerrup! I need to send an owl!

James: To whom?

Sirius: ::whispers in James' ear::

James: Ooh that sounds great!

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..::Tess wakes up and pokes Lea Black:::..

Lea: Piss off – oh, good morning, Tess. ::yawns:: What a lovely day.

Tess: Gerrup! I need to send an owl!

Lea: To whom?

Tess: ::whispers in Lea's ear::

Lea: Ooh that sounds great!

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AT THE OWLERY

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Lea: So, let me get this straight. You're going to – Oh hi big bro.

..::Sirius and James walk in::..

Sirius: What're you two doing here?

Tess: We were going to send you a dungbomb.

James: Hey! We were gonna do that too!

..::They stare at eachother for a while::..

Lea: Heads up!

..::They all duck as an owl swoops in. Taking the opportunity, Sirius throws the Dungbomb at Lea::..

Lea: Hey!

..::Just then, McGonagall comes striding in!::..

McGonagall: What is all this rack – Miss Black! Who did this to you?

Tess: Black through a dungbomb at her, Professor.

McGonagall: I've had it with you two! 30 points from Gryffindor and 2 more days' detention!

Sirius: But – 

McGonagall: No 'buts'. Back to your dormitory _now!_ Lea, I'm dreadfully sorry, your brother and his friends are out of control – 

Lea: I know, professor. I live with him. Can we send our letter now?

McGonagall: Why, of course…actually, how about Miss Snicket sends the letter, and I'll take you up to the hospital wing to get you cleaned up. Very sorry…

Tess: Bye professor, seeya Lea. ::winks at Lea when McGonagall turns her back. Lea returns the wink and Tess grabs her owl from a high shelf, tying the letter to her:: I'm _sorry, _Amber, you'll have to put up with the smell…

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So, um, yeah…that was my story! I hoped you **cough** liked it **cough**…lol. Okay, so the formatting didn't work as well as it usually does. Flames are accepted _only _if they're constructive and rather _polite_. And yes, I will continue with this story as much as I can, and _yes_, don't _worry_, Sirius and James _will_ get Lea, Emily and Tess back…and then the adventure will REALLY begin! Lol…

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Chapter One – Don't mess with McGonagall!


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